Like a fish in the sea… For you I’m just feed.

So I’ve been in a lost little part of my own little world for the past 4 or 5 months.  I struggle daily with things that I don’t discuss with anyone anymore.  Not my counselor.  Not my friends.  Not my parents.  Not even total strangers.  I’m scared.  I’m losing any kind of hope.  

Everyone just wants to say “it’s going to be ok.”  WTF is ok?  Why? How? When?  I find that I care less and less for this miserable world that we live in.  I don’t want much of anything anymore… I just want to be alone and cry.  

… and what scares me the most…. I don’t even know if I want this life anymore……..

I’m constantly being barraged with my own thoughts of how to end it… and of how i’ve tried.   

Now.. don’t take this as a suicide note, but if for no apparent reason I wasn’t around tomorrow… it would be no concern to me…..

 

J

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