I don’t write much about my love for my ex. Tonight I will. I’ve been talking to her a lot in the last few days. She’s single again. My heart is still hers. For now… it is still only hers. I will never find what she gave to me. I don’t care if I’m hurt again. Love hurts. That’s how it works. She is beautiful. She is amazing. She is my link in life. I don’t understand why, but I would walk the rest of the world that I have not yet stepped foot upon for her. I was engaged to her once. That was my for life commitment. It didn’t happen. I was broken hearted. I’m soooo stupid. SO FUCKING STUPID! Why do I do this to myself? It’s been 3 years that I’ve been away. She’s like nothing else in the world to me.
Denied to protect me…. I need to be loved. I’m fragile and I need it. I’m just a girl without hope. A lost soul with an eternity to regret what I could not save. I’m a mistake made from birth. I always seek the highest peak. I will never be tall enough or strong enough or fast enough or smart enough to catch it. I will never understand what it is that I fail at. A broken heart I keep. I cherish the love I’ve received and remember each scar every time I find myself in need to breathe deeply. I’m a terrible mess with a terrible affection for a love I can’t let go of as she walks further and further away.
Head high because my heart is so low….
Joslyn