Somewhere Along In The Bitterness

Well, not that many people have been following my last few post, but I’ve been in an incredibly low mood as of late.  I’ve reacted in poor ways with people.  I’ve pushed people away.  I’ve been making sure that people can’t keep in contact of me.  I feel like I need a reset of my life.

I’m a little bit scared still to make this happen, but after debating it for a couple of days I feel like what I’m going to do is definitely a wise decision.  I have to make money first over the weekend.  I’d like to at least have a couple of days to recover from this before I go back out to work.  I do believe this will be hard, as this journey I go through tends to be for most.  

Cleansing myself of people in my life is never an easy task.  New Orleans is a beautiful place, but it’s beginning to be quite dull.  I’m in need of new surroundings completely.  

I want to look at the crowd when I go out this weekend thinking “you guys are going to pay for my ticket out of here.”  I want to be in high spirits.  I’ve needed a goal.  Leaving is a good goal when I’m in a city that I feel can only continue to defeat me.

I don’t expect to find peace by moving somewhere else, but I do miss the joy of not feeling stuck.  The thought that there’s so much more out there is weighing heavy on me.  This is my journey, and this is how I hope to grow.  Shaking myself free of the stress, the drama, the financial struggle, and the shackles of material objects once again.  

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