After dealing with about 6 weeks of a strong spiral into depression, I am completely ready to pull myself out. I have outed many… way too many people. I am now feeling just completely terrible about it.
I had a dream last night and it reminded me of why I am friends with so many people. I wake up and remember that I’ve screwed it all up. To them, especially, I am truly sorry.
I’m still trying to understand how to deal with these new levels of extremes in my emotions. Hormones are an insanely strong thing. I had no idea when I started that this could be possible. Now, with my neglect, I am risking losing everything I had here in this city. I have threatened to leave with no place to go. Why? Because when life gets rough I run away.
My two best friends, the most amazing lovers I’ve ever known, have taken probably the most of my angst. Katy…… Shanece…. I am sorry. I’m stupid.