Lost Connection

After dealing with about 6 weeks of a strong spiral into depression, I am completely ready to pull myself out.  I have outed many… way too many people.  I am now feeling just completely terrible about it.  

I had a dream last night and it reminded me of why I am friends with so many people.  I wake up and remember that I’ve screwed it all up.  To them, especially, I am truly sorry.  

I’m still trying to understand how to deal with these new levels of extremes in my emotions.  Hormones are an insanely strong thing.  I had no idea when I started that this could be possible.  Now, with my neglect, I am risking losing everything I had here in this city.  I have threatened to leave with no place to go.  Why?  Because when life gets rough I run away.  

My two best friends, the most amazing lovers I’ve ever known, have taken probably the most of my angst.  Katy…… Shanece…. I am sorry.  I’m stupid.